Judgement, Fat Discrimination, and the Isolation of Obesity

Read the letter below, and think about it for a second.

This letter wasn't to me, but it may as well have been.

For the record, let me say this:  

Yes, I realize that I have not been marginalized as much as, say, ethnic or religious minorities.

Yes, I realize that some of my attributes that apparently invite discrimination were self-induced.

But anyone who thinks that fat discrimination isn't a "thing" is delusional, and/or blind.

If you are an average-sized human, ESPECIALLY AN AVERAGE-SIZED CIS-MALE HUMAN, I ask you this...how many times have you received a letter like this?  How many times have you been shouted at from passing cars, or laughed at by bitches at the YMCA?  How many times have you been reduced to tears because somebody made a hateful comment about your appearance?

My guess is: NEVER.  

And that's awesome.  Because nobody should be reduced to tears by hateful comments about their appearance.  It's just unacceptable.

For some reason that I can't fathom, people feel that women's bodies are theirs to comment on. Especially if you are not a Victoria's Secret model.  Too fat, too thin, too "mannish."  Omg, that crazy hippie doesn't shave her legs.  Holy crap, that girl should NOT be wearing leggings.  Eat a sandwich, you look anorexic.  Just because it zips, doesn't mean it fits.

I've been subjected to this kind of awful attitude more times than I care to remember.  I can't imagine what on God's green earth would EVER possess anyone to say or write this kind of thing to another human.  

I will never, EVER, forget the first time this happened to me.  It was my freshman spring at UWSP, and I went for a walk on a glorious afternoon.  Four guys in a blue car drove past and slowed down just long enough to shout "You need to start running, you fat bitch!" before peeling away and laughing their stupid faces off.  It was just another in a series of comments, looks, laughs, and rude comments that cut me down again, and again, and again, until I believed I was worth nothing.  I thought I deserved nothing but a lifetime of those kinds of comments.

There are people out there who seriously think that fat-shaming will motivate fat people to get thin.

Do you know what is really does?  

It makes them hide.  It makes them become binge-eaters because they don't know how to deal with their shame.  It makes them vomit.  It makes them start taking Xanax and Citalopram because of their crushing depressive disorder and nauseating anxiety (which, no doubt, contributed to their obesity in the first place).  In spite of those who love them (including fab friends, supportive siblings and parents, and an amazeballs husband), they have no idea WHY anybody cares about them so much, because they feel worthless.

Sometimes, it makes them wish they were dead.  Not because their life is awful...it's not.  They have the aforementioned amazing support system and a lot of things going for them.  But because they're not confident they can endure a lifetime of this kind of cruelty.

It's unbelievably isolating.

Until one day, the lucky ones realize they are worth so much more than they ever realized.  

Who knows what brings on this realization.  Maybe they are in a new relationship.  Maybe they read a motivating book or article.

Maybe they receive a life-changing gift from a complete stranger.  For the first time in forever, they think "holy crap, somebody has faith in me.  Somebody believes I can do this."

"SOMEBODY THINKS I'M WORTH IT."

(FYI, the "they" in this story is me, if you hadn't caught my drift)

Thanks, again, Jen.  If I said it a million times, it wouldn't be enough.