2016

While it seems like this year might legit be the end of the world (in case we descend into dystopian madness soon, it's been really nice knowing all of you), for me, this year has been amazing so far and shows no signs of stopping.

The things:

I'm in my first clinical practicum rotation at MDCMC/NSMC in Sturge.  I feel like a moron allllll the time, but that means I'm constantly learning.  It is taxing, exhausting, overwhelming...and it should be!  My goal involves a lot of responsibility.

I'm still employed.  I'm lucky enough to have a job that, while I may or may not agree with administrative decisions, they let me study in between calls.  That alone is worth it.

My husband and I have had an interesting, amazing year together as we continue to learn and grow as individuals and as a couple.  It hasn't all been great, but it HAS all been educational and brought increased self-awareness.

Taco is still the cutest, even though his breath smells like an old hobo's infected toenail.

I have made some amazing, life-changing friends this year.  People who have affected me in ways I never thought possible.

I've reconnected with old friends and somehow, against the odds of scheduling craziness and distance, managed to maintain my closest friendships with my tribe of weirdos.

Probably the best thing to come out of 2016 is that I barely recognize the Angie from 2015 and previous years.  While I do look considerably different physically, more importantly, my mental state has completely changed.  And I didn't even realize it until my Auntie Sharon pointed it out to me at my cousin's wedding this summer.  My lovely, sweet Auntie pulled me aside and commented on my confidence.  She said since seeing me 4 months prior, I looked, acted, and carried myself like a completely different person.  She made me cry a little bit. :)  And I realized...she was right.

Mumzers, Auntie Sharon, moi.  Duesler ladies are HAWT.

I felt so good about myself for the first time in a long time.  Despite being proud of my accomplishments (academic, physical, mental, etc.), I still could not shake the feeling that something was lacking.  Something was missing in me that other people had.

This year turned that around.   Why?  I have no stinkin idea.  When?  I honestly can't recall.  The transition was subtle and fast.  It's like I woke up one morning and a tiny imperceptible shift occurred.  I went to bed using my humor as armor and woke up legitimately thinking I was funny.  I went to bed hiding my body and woke up wanting to show off my hard work.  I went to bed being the funny but fat and unattractive girl and woke up being the girl my husband's friends (and my friends) want to get with (well...some of them).  I went to bed unsure of my abilities and talents and woke up a rockstar.

I wish I could share the event, thought process, or magical happening that changed my perceptions, but I haven't the slightest idea what it was.  I wish I could tell you that everyone else sees me the same way I see myself, but I'm sure that's not true.  I wish I could bottle this feeling and market it, not only because I'd make an assload of money, but because everyone deserves to feel this way.

2016 might suck for the world at large, but for me, it's been amazing.