Cyberbullying

Lots of people have asked over the past year, why I don't make a public facebook page like Sunshine's Journey, LoseitconKatie, PrissyMelissa, etc.  This post should explain everything...

I want to talk for a minute about bullying.

Specifically, cyberbullying.  Among adults.  Ugh.

About two years ago, I posted a comment on a blog.  The topic of the blog was basically "fat people are disgusting, are responsible for the downfall of society, and should all be killed."  It was titled something else, but those comments/sentiments were all present in the blog entry.  I'd link it, but about two months after that, the woman thankfully took down all her hateful social media accounts and dismantled her blog.  Hooray!

However, before that, she took it upon herself to try to "ruin" me.  She read my comment, used my Facebook and Instagram accounts (both set as privately as possible, btw) to find out my full name, city, and employer, and set apart attempting to destroy my life.  She sent an email to the customer service department at my workplace claiming that I'd sent her death threats (not true) and that I was using company time to harass and defame her (also not true).  She posted links to my etsy site, facebook, instragram, and a twitter account that I started and then used twice in like 2007 on her twitter and blog.  She threatened to post my address and send her "fans" after me.  She threatened to sue me and call the frickin Inspector General's office to have my nursing license revoked.  Thank god for timestamps and my company having common sense, or one simple, innocuous comment on a blog post could have had serious consequences for my career and life.

I changed all my internet personas to my fake stripper name.

Fast forward two years.

I've been following a lot of weight loss related Facebook and Instagram "celebrities" (I don't know what other word to use).  They are a kind of support system for me, which is why I follow them.  They bravely share their journeys with the world at large, and may suffer because of it.  People can be downright hateful.

One, in particular, was the victim of such hatred this very week.

Her name is Stasia2point0, and she lives in AZ.  Over the past several months, she has lost almost 100lb from her starting weight of 500lb.  She has had some financial troubles, which she posts about from time to time.  Some of her followers have taken it upon themselves to help her financially.  COMPLETELY THEIR CHOICE.  Recently, someone started a gofundme campaign to get her a new computer so she can start a youtube channel.  I have to be honest, this elicited the biggest eyeroll of my life (seriously...a $2600 Macbook to make youtube videos?  Come on...) but it was not her doing.  It was one of her followers.  If they want to get her a fancy ass computer, more power to them!

Another website of forums about bloggers got wind of this and went apeshit crazy.  It started innocently enough...people expressed annoyance that she talks about her financial problems so much and felt she was grifting for gifts and money.  While i have to admit, on a fitness page, the constant talk of financial needs gets annoying, money problems are part of general wellness, and it's her page, she can post what she damn well pleases.  When it gets overwhelming, I just don't visit her page for a few days. That's the beauty of the internet, and life in general...ignore shit you don't like and move the hell on.

Anyway, the forum then dissolved into people questioning her honesty.  Fair enough, I can imagine being skeptical of someone you don't know...but why waste your time speculating about it?

And then it further spiraled into people pulling her accounts from dating websites and commenting on her body, calling her names, critiquing her progress and whether it was good enough or fast enough, and basically tearing her down to make themselves feel good.

How, I ask you, HOW IS THAT PRODUCTIVE?  Don't people have anything better to do with their time than call someone fat and make them feel sad?  Dudes...Stasia knows she's got weight to lose, that's why she's on this health/fitness journey.

Do I agree with everything the woman has ever done or said?  No.  Does that matter?  Not really.  Does it justify calling her names and being hateful?  HELL TO THE NO.  I wouldn't wish what happened to her this week upon my worst enemy.  Whether or not she is right in her actions, nobody deserves to be the subject of ridicule.

With the backlash from a blog post that I wrote about 6 weeks ago about nutritional supplements, I can't imagine how much worse it would have been if I'd had a public page or advertised/professional blog.  The few assholes I got negativity and namecalling from could have (would have) been hundreds.  I get down on myself enough without outside help, thankyouverymuch.

The moral of the story:

-My journey is for me and me alone.  Yes, it makes me feel good when people say I motivate or inspire them, but that's not what this is about.
-I hope Stasia doesn't let this event tear her down.  She is currently taking a social media hiatus and I hope, as it was for me, the hiatus is what she needs to remember why she is doing this and what really matters.  And that she doesn't let this setback define her journey.

Have a MAGNIFICENT day! :)