Goals

I like setting goals and crushing them.  In that past, setting goals was a frustrating, depressing process for me.  I was really good at the planning stages...and not so great at the actual execution.  I had known for a loooooong time that I wanted to/needed to lose weight and get healthier, but no idea how to do it.  Eat less calories than you take in (duh), but to be honest, there's a lot more to it than that, at least for me.

Counting calories is super triggering for me.  I can't do it without feeling restricted, anxious, and stressed.  It always always always leads to a binge and feeling badly (and sick).  So I don't do it.

Weight Watchers was fantastic in terms of measuring intake without calorie counting, but, for me, it didn't teach me how to eat healthy.  I could eat nothing but Snickers bars all day as long as I didn't go over my daily points.  I was losing a little weight, which was great, but still feeding myself with a lot of processed crap.

Everybody is different, and different things work for different people.  I know people who have lost tons of weight counting calories, on WW, on Atkins, or on another program, and it makes sense for them.  Fantastic!  Keep it up, yo!

What does this have to do with goals, you ask?

Until I had a plan that I could sustainably execute, my goals were just wishes.  I wanted them, but wasn't taking appropriate steps to meet them.

Over the past year, my goals have evolved as my health and fitness have.  My first goal was to get through my first workout without crying, dying, or vomiting.  It may seem like a ridiculous or easy goal, but it was my Everest.  I was so intimidated by the gym and my trainer at that time, and that first workout was terrifying.  But I did it.  Goal met.  After I got into the swing of things, my first weight loss goal was 20lbs.  After that, it was to be below 300lbs.  Then to lose 75.  Then 100.  I've also had NSV related goals...for example, comfortably sitting in an airplane seat without a seatbelt extender was a goal I crushed on my trip to AZ in March.  Even things like sitting in a restaurant booth comfortably or in a chair with arms without being in pain were goals that I had.

Now that I've met my 100lb goal (plus some, yay!), it's time to re-evaluate and make new goals.  I have to admit, I'm at a bit of a loss.  I want to gain some water weight, which probably sounds ridiculous to most of you.  But even though I drink water all day (and pee about a billion times a day as a result), I am chronically dehydrated (as are lots of people).  My body composition is improving slowly but surely, and my percentage of body water is slowly creeping up.  The more fat I lose, the more it goes up (thank GOD).  But it's only at 39%, and it should be at least 50%.  The problem with this goal is that I need it to be tangible and concrete, and I'm not sure how to quantify water weight gain in a way that is attainable on a monthly basis.  *le sigh*

I would also love to put on some muscle.  Again, my percentage of muscle keeps increasing as my fat percentage goes down, but pounds wise, I've actually lost some muscle this year.  The small amount I've lost, considering that I've lost 113lbs, is pretty fantastic.  But eventually, I'd like some sweet gains.  I want a big, amazing ass, what can I say (well, it's already pretty big and amazing, but I want it to be like Kim Kardashian-ey).

Also, I'm most certainly not done losing weight (at least, I hope not).  I'd still like to lose a solid 50 more pounds, possibly more.  But it's tricky, because I'm now at the point where people are starting to ask about my "goal weight."  And I have no idea what it is.  I hope I'll know it when I get there, but as of now, I have no idea what it is.  Because it depends more on how I feel and look than the number on the scale (never thought I'd say that).  I could surprise myself and stop before my 50lb loss.  Maybe I'll get to 210 and decide that's perfect.  Maybe I'll lose the 50 and decide I need to lose more.

I guess I'm just trying to throw this out there...make goals for yourself!  Make them achievable, measurable, and REALISTIC, so you can pleasantly surprise yourself when you crush them.

Go gain a pound of muscle.

Go sit in a restaurant booth.

Go get that Kim Kardashian ass.

NSVs

Don't get me wrong.  Losing weight is awesome.  I feel amazing.  I look pretty good.  I feel more confident and healthy than I have in a loooooong time.

But (and this is a big but, no pun intended), I am getting more and more geeked about the non-scale victories I'm accomplishing throughout this process.

Let's discuss them, shall we?

Within the last month, I've been able to do a lot of things that I've either never done before or haven't been able to do in a long time.

1) I fit into tall boots.  Yes, the tall boots I fit into are designed for chunky calves, but this is huge for me, as I couldn't even zip those a few months ago.
2) I climbed a state park tower without having to stop and rest on the way up.
3) I voluntarily went on hikes (or, as Rae would say, "walks," since there are no mountains involved).  I love hiking but haven't had the energy or stamina to do even a short hike in a long time.
4) I scheduled a fishing trip with my pops for this coming summer.  I love fishing with my dad, but I haven't done it in almost 10 years because 1) nursing school took up all my time, 2) I got too heavy for my waders to fit me, and 3) there is no way in hell I could have enjoyed it having the low energy I've had until recently.  Our type of fishing is peaceful and relaxing and fun...but it's also exhausting, ass-busting work.  We don't fish like your typical fisherman.  There is very little "sitting in a boat, tooling around a lake, drinking beer" and lots of "let's walk cross-country through a knee-deep beaver run for an hour to the tiniest, meandering stream imaginable.  Also, try not to get in the way of any cow moose or wolves.  Also, don't fall in the floating bog.  Also, don't catch your pole/line/waders/vest/face on any tag alder.  Also, don't forget to spray your entire body with toxic tick spray so you don't get Lyme's disease.  Also, don't get lost because you will die of exposure.  Also, you are carrying a canoe, two paddles, life vests, and all your fishing gear."  It can be strenuous, but it's worth it to fish in places that less than a dozen other people on earth are able to find, navigate, and enjoy.
5) My wedding rings are too big.  This is both a victory and a pain in my ass.
6) My boobs haven't shrunk nearly as much as I thought.  My bras were all huge and I was really sad...until I went to buy new bras.  Turns out, my band size was 4 inches too big which is why I was swimming in them.  Thanks for sticking around, boobs!

The moral of the story:  The numbers on the scale are great.  I love seeing them consistently going down.  However; there is so much more to it than that.  If you're trying to lose weight and the numbers aren't agreeing with you, think about everything else you've gained through the process.  I bet you've had some awesome victories, too.