***I originally wrote this blog on 4/3/14, right after those buttheads on Fair Street shouted nasty things at me. Those of you who followed my old blog probably recognize it...though it has been tweaked and more things have been added to it.
This is going to sound really weird, coming from someone who's fat. But do you know what I love?
Fat jokes.
Seriously. I love them. Not because I find them funny (the same way I don't find racist, homophobic, sexist, or other cruel jokes funny). Because they're not funny. Not at all.
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| I get it, because she's a whale. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA FUNNIEST GODDAMN JOKE EVER. Or, shut your stupid mouth and IMMA CUT YOU. |
They fuel my rage. They motivate me. They make me want to punch people in their stupid faces.
So keep telling them, jerks. I LOVE that shit. With every joke you tell, my determination grows.
I think of every fat joke, every cruel name I've been called, every asshole who has shouted hateful things at me from their car, or their porch (I'm talking to you, North Fair Street crackhouse) when I'm working out.
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| WHY IS THIS FAT BITCH WEARING LEGGINGS? HOW DARE SHE WEAR SKINNY PEOPLE CLOTHES? Releasing mob of angry villagers with pitchforks in 3...2...1... |
As I do my lat pulldowns, I imagine the weights slamming down on your head with each rep. When I row, I picture my elbows landing right in your stupid faces.
In all seriousness, if you find these jokes funny, you are an asshole and I have no use for you. If you find these jokes funny, you clearly have no respect for me anyways. And yes, I am just as "sensitive" about sexist jokes (because I have a vagina and a SOUL), racist jokes (because not everyone is white and I have a soul), homophobic jokes (again, I have a soul) and other ignorant jokes (because I'm smart and have a soul).
But keep telling them. The rage pushes me to be better.
And furthermore, stop saying things like this:
"I love you like a fat girl loves cake." If you must know, I much prefer pie to cake. Also, I eat salads every motherfucking day. So shut up.
"What's the point of having big boobs/an ass that won't quit/curves when you're fat?" So...my fat cancels out my booty and cans? I can think of one person who would beg to differ, and guess what! He lives with me and is legally bound to my ass and cans FOREVER and you don't and aren't, so shut up. Also, by this logic, "what's the point" of being thin if you are completely flat chested and look like a twelve-year-old boy? Guess what, it's your body so I don't care! :) ***Also, no, I do not think small breasted women look like boys, because breast size does not equate with femininity or beauty. I'm just saying, it's just as ridiculous an example as what's been said to me.
"You have such a pretty face." To most of you, this sounds like a compliment, but fatties can quickly read between the lines. So shut up.
If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. Except fat jokes, of course. Fat people aren't discriminated against or anything, so it's fine.
And furthermore, stop saying things like this:
"I love you like a fat girl loves cake." If you must know, I much prefer pie to cake. Also, I eat salads every motherfucking day. So shut up.
"What's the point of having big boobs/an ass that won't quit/curves when you're fat?" So...my fat cancels out my booty and cans? I can think of one person who would beg to differ, and guess what! He lives with me and is legally bound to my ass and cans FOREVER and you don't and aren't, so shut up. Also, by this logic, "what's the point" of being thin if you are completely flat chested and look like a twelve-year-old boy? Guess what, it's your body so I don't care! :) ***Also, no, I do not think small breasted women look like boys, because breast size does not equate with femininity or beauty. I'm just saying, it's just as ridiculous an example as what's been said to me.
"You have such a pretty face." To most of you, this sounds like a compliment, but fatties can quickly read between the lines. So shut up.
If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. Except fat jokes, of course. Fat people aren't discriminated against or anything, so it's fine.
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